Strengthen Your Interpersonal and Working Relationships by Pitching In, Helping Out

Imagine how wonderful it would be to work in an organization where people willingly help out and serve one another without being asked. Think how the employees would feel about their colleagues if everyone willingly pitched in to accomplish the work.

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In November my wife and I will celebrate our 38th wedding anniversary. Our love and commitment to each other grows stronger every day. I attribute the success of our marriage, in part, to our mutual willingness to unselfishly help out and serve one another without hesitation or reserve.

In the first few months of our marriage I formulated a philosophy that has guided the way I act toward my wife. It has helped me to refocus in moments when selfishness or lazy notions enter my head.

Whenever I see work that needs to be done around the house, a question consciously enters my mind that I placed there many years ago. As I see dishes that need to be washed or items that need to be picked up, I ask myself who’s going to do it by saying: “If not me; who?”

If the answer to that question is my wife’s name, rather than my own, I then ask: “If her; why?”

Is it because she’s a woman? No, that would be chauvinistic of me and wrong.

Is it because she’s a homemaker and it’s part of her “job”? Yes, that may be true. But why is it only her job? In real partnerships there are no his or her roles. There is no “mine” or “yours”. In a partnership, whoever sees that something needs to be done should just do it. And they should do it without having to be asked or told.

Consequently, when I ask myself why someone else should do the work instead of me, the only real answer I can contrive is because I’m too lazy (or too tired)to do it myself. But that is not an acceptable answer — not to me or anyone else.
Finally, when I’ve resolved that I’m the only one who should do the task, I commit myself to doing it by asking: “If not now; when?” The only acceptable answers to that question are either immediately or very soon.

Imagine how wonderful it would be to work in an organization where people willingly help out and serve one another without being asked. Think how the employees would feel about their colleagues if everyone willingly pitched in to accomplish the work.

Far too frequently people respond to requests for assistance with excuses as to why they can’t help. Comments such as, “It’s not my job”, “Find someone else”, “I’m too busy”, “I’m in the middle of something”, or ‘I can’t right now” permeate our language. Saying no seems to be the natural inclination and normal response rather than stepping forward to volunteer.

We need a new language for today’s workforce. Listed below are some phrases I feel we all need to infuse into our daily work conversations. I’m sure they would make our bosses and colleagues very happy.

Here are some phrases that should become a normal part of your vocabulary at work:

When Someone Asks For Help

• “Sure. I can do that.”
• “Thanks. I’d love to help out.”
• “I’d be glad to do that for you.”
• “No problem. I’ll get right on it.”
• “You bet. I’ll be right there.”
• “I appreciate your asking.”
• “I don’t mind. I enjoy doing it.”
• “You can count on me.”

Better Yet, Before Someone Asks

• “Let me do that.”
• “I volunteer to do it.”
• “Let me help you with that.”
• “I want to help.”
• “Do you mind if I work along with you?”
• “I have a minute. I’ll do it.”
• “I can take care of that.”
• “Let’s do it together.”
• “I can stay late and do it.”
• “How can I help you?”
• “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
• “Why don’t you go ahead and go home. I’ll finish up.”
• “What else can I do for you?”
• “I resolved it.”
• “It’s already done.”


We need people in the workplace who say to themselves: “If not me; who? If not now; when?” We need workers who see what needs to be done, and then do it. We need people who step up to the plate and pitch in without being asked.

I’m one of those people who like to whistle or sing while I work. One song, in particular, seems apropos while I’m laboring:

"The world has need of willing men
Who (share) the worker’s (zeal).
Come help the good work move along
Put your shoulder to the wheel.
Put your shoulder to the wheel;
Push along.
Do your duty with a heart full of song.
We all have work; let no one shirk.
Put your shoulder to the wheel."

What could contribute more to building strong working relationships than unselfish service toward one’s coworkers?

Two things happen when you willingly help others. First, you make the person you serve happy. My wife tells me all the time how appreciative she is of the things I do around the house. She thanks me for helping and tells me how good it makes her feel.

The greatest benefit from serving others, however, is the second thing that happens from that service. Although I love my wife and want her to feel good as a result of my helping, I’m not just doing it for her. I’m really doing it for me; because when I help out, it makes me feel good. §